i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
