I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize