It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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