If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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