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• (210): View more from Texas

  How crunk are you?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  well look at the bright side

  (440): View more from Ohio

  maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up

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• (209): View more from California

  I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  .......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me

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• (716): View more from New York

  He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice

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