I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
nutella sex= disaster
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize