i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
