Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
