We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
