She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize