Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
