You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
