all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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