they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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