Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
