I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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