every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
