5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
