I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
