I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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