She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
