it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
