How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
