Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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