We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
