Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
