Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
