you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
