I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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