I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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