i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
