someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
