I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize