bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
