idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
