I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
