you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
