Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
