its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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