dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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