Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just cropdusted the office
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
