Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
