Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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