I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
