Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
