it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize