Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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