I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
