I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
