Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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