girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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