Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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