dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
