He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
