Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
