Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Farmville is her only friend.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
