Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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