Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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