This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize