You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
